Sketch - Alek in Wonderland

ALEK stands in the middle of the almost-dark stage, in front of a large full-length mirror. He is a young boy wearing overalls and a striped t-shirt covered in dirt and grass stains.

- Alek
That’s a big mirror. Wonder why Grandma leaves it up here like this?

Alek slowly touches the mirror. Stage goes black, Alek gives a YELP of surprise. When the lights come back on, Alek is in a forest clearing with the mirror in front of him.

- Alek (looking in various directions, lastly up)
What in the? Where am I? How did I get into a forest? And why does that bird keep getting bigger?

The shadow of a large bird crosses the stage as Alek cringes in fear. After a moment ENIGMA, a large shaggy bird the size of a human, hops onto the stage.

- Enigma
Welcome Alek. Nice to meet you, or have we already met?

- Alek (surprise)
You can talk!

- Enigma (nods)
Ah, so our first meeting. Well then, many rising winds to you. I believe I see you again soon.

Enigma hops off stage. Alek holds out a hand toward it.

- Alek
What? Wait, I need help! Help me crazy giant talking bird … Well, this is just grand.

He touches the mirror again, but nothing happens.

- Alek (complaining, then a big smile)
Now I’m stuck in the middle of a stupid forest with a stupid giant talking bird and … Hey! This is like an adventure story! There’ll be swords and dragons and princesses. This’ll be great. Everyone knows that when you appear in forests with giant talking animals, you’re about to have an amazing adventure.

Alek picks up a stick from the ground and starts swinging it around.

- Alek
This’ll have to do for now until I get a real sword. Too bad I don’t know how to fight. But some old guy will train me. It’ll take forever and probably be boring, but then I’ll be able to kick dragon butt!

Alek jumps forward for a big lunge and the stage goes black with another YELP from Alek. When the lights come back on the forest is gone, Alek is now is a dimly lit cave atop a large mushroom.

- Alek
Oww. Why was there a hole in the ground? Stupid hole. Now I’m in a cave? Lucky thing this mushroom was here. But that kind of stuff always happens to heroes, falling into holes and landing safely, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Where’d my stick go?

Alek looks around but doesn't see the stick. He SIGHS and crosses his arms.

- Alek
Well, now what?

Alek gets off the large mushroom and searches the area. Under the mushroom he finds a top hat and holds it up for inspection.

- Alek
Well it may not be much, but this is my first loot! Maybe it has magical properties?

Alek dusts the hat off and puts it on. The hat falls over his eyes and the lights go out. When they come on again he is standing in the middle of another forest, much shadier than the previous one, but this time everything is made of candy. Alek takes the hat off his head.

- Alek
What a worthless magic item, it just … wow, takes me to Wonka-land?! This is the greatest adventure ever!

Alek drops the hat and begins eating candy off the trees, loudly enjoying it. LATE, a human-sized bunny wearing a vest and gripping a very large pocket watch hops into the clearing, looking around anxiously. Alek looks over and waves.

- Alek (mouth full)
Hullo.

- Late
Have you seen it, have you? Is it here?

- Alek
Whut?

- Late
My hat of course, I can’t go without it.

- Alek (swallows mouthful, picks up the hat again)
You mean this?

- Late (happy)
Yes! Please, give it here!

- Alek
What will you give me for it?

- Late
I beg your pardon?

- Alek
I found it so it belongs to me. If you want it back, you have to give me something good for it.

- Late (frowns)
I have no time for this, I am Late, I am quite late.

Late snatches the hat from Alek and hops away quickly, glancing at a watch.

- Late
I’m so late, I’m Late, I’m very, very late …

- Alek (angry)
You Bogart!

Alek shrugs and goes back to eating candy. A shadow crosses the stage.

- Enigma (from off-stage)
Too much of that and you will brighten your teeth.

Enigma hops on stage. Alek looks over once and then goes back to the candy.

- Alek
Oh, you again. Wait, brighten my teeth? Best magic candy ever!

- Enigma (worried)
No no, bright teeth means the Grue can see you!

- Alek
The Grue?

- Enigma
Yes, he lives in these woods. He hunts at night when your teeth shine in the moonlight.

- Alek
Well I don’t have to worry about that. I’m probably supposed to defeat this Grue thing, I’m a hero after all. My name’s Alek, what’s yours?

- Enigma
Enigma, they call me. So, is this our first meeting? No, wait, that’s when you’re surprised that I can speak.

- Alek
Whatever. So who’s the evil king that I have to defeat?

- Enigma
Evil king? We have no evil king. Are you not friends with our monarch? Oh, no, that was when you were older. Never mind!

- Alek (confused)
What? Older? … So, what about a dragon? Is there a dragon I have to fight?

- Enigma
Why in the world would you fight a dragon? They’re so tiny and weak!

- Alek (exasperated)
So what do I have to fight? Where’s the evil villain?

- Enigma
There won’t be a villain for some time now. Why would you? … Oh, now I remember. You came as a boy, then as a man. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Or should I say ahead of you, ha ha! Well then, remember this: train hard with your instructors back on your world! I’ll see you again in 10 years!

Enigma hops off stage. Alek shrugs.

- Alek
That bird is cracked.

Alek considers the candy and grabs a few more pieces to stuff in his pockets.

- Alek (looking around)
Well, best get my bearings. I’ll head for that giant tree. I bet I can climb it and see for miles!

Alek begins walking and leaves the stage. The lights slowly dim. GRUE, a green haired, pasty skinned man, peeps out from behind a tree as Alek returns to the stage.

- Alek (tired, then notices Grue)
It’s getting late, I better look for shelter. … Hey, who are you?

Grue hides behind the tree.

- Grue
Oh no, you must quickly go. When the moon comes out, I will surely grow.

- Alek (confused)
What?

- Grue
You don’t understand, do you? I am the much feared Grue!

- Alek
Really? You don’t look dangerous.

- Grue
At night my true self comes out, at that time you better not be about.

- Alek (starts backing away)
You seem fine now.

- Grue
Quick, run, the time is nigh, you must escape before I - !

The Grue convulses and falls into a bush. Low GROWLS begin emanating from there.

- Alek (worried)
Oh bugger, and me without a sword.

Alek runs off stage and the lights go out. When the lights come back on they are bright and Alek is hiding behind a tree in a non-candy wooded clearing. Late hops on stage.

- Late
Well, what a good party, Lord Duane was looking splendid … What have we here?

- Alek
Have you seen it, have you? Is it gone?

- Late
What?

- Alek
The Grue!

- Late
Of course, the sun is up isn’t it?

- Alek (more confident)
Well, yeah … So I totally defeated the Grue by the way.

- Late
Pish posh and poppycock! As if a child like you! Such exaggerations! Anyways, I must be off, I’m late for tea, ta!

Late begins hopping away. Alek holds out a hand.

- Alek
Wait! Stupid rabbit, don’t leave without helping me!

Alek throws a rock and hits Late. Late turns around and stomps his rabbit feet.

- Late
Well, I never! Rude little snicklefritz, you have arisen the ire of Late! Go back to way before you met me and learn some manners before our meeting be!

Late raises his large pocket watch, which glows bright. The lights go out. When the lights come back on, ALEK is standing in front of the mirror again, about to touch it. He quickly pulls back his hand.

- Alek
Um … Ten years it is then. Or never.

Alek turns and walks away.