Character - Fortune Adjuster

Come in, boy, come in. No, I will call you boy. The carnival manager is Boy to me too, do not think yourself so high and mighty. Come in, you want your fortune told by the old circus hag, yes? Come in, sit here, let me peer at you in the shade. You want your future told? A simple task, for I have already seen it in my inner eye. But more than simply tell, I will change. In truth I am not a teller of fortunes, but an adjuster.

The youth of today, worried about the future, ha! The future happens over and over, will happen just as it has happened. All I need are your anchors, the things deciding your future. For example, that pretty little thing you left outside, she is no anchor. She will change you, yes, she will eat up your pocketbook! I saw her, I saw her jewelry and fake breasts. No, look at me, not at her. You did not bring her into the tent, you do not see her as part of your future, yes? She is a fun little fling, am I right? Oh, you think it shameful for me to speak of such things? Silly boy, I too was once young, I too had my flings. Beware that one, if you spoil her too much she will eat up all your money and leave you penniless. But have your fun, yes, that is what youth is for.

I see a career in business, yes, it is clear. You have the face of a salesman, fake sincerity is written in the lines of your forehead. But not greatness, no, you do not have the aura for it. Stay small, that is my advice, work for a great man who you can help become greater. You will know him by the offer he makes, he will come to you and offer you a good job, almost too good. Avoid the first offer, the one from the man with too-bright teeth. He is flashy, a big spender and wasteful, he will lead his business and you to ruin. The second man, he will be more modest in appearance but will offer a good position nonetheless. Work for him and you will have a good stable job. Maybe if you work for the first man you can afford to keep the pretty little thing for a while longer, but the second man will be the best in the long run. That is how these things go.

Family, a home? Of course, I see those things too. You are a modest person so you will have a modest home, a modest wife, two or three children when you least expect it. The house will be plain, but every year at Christmas you will dress it up in lights to try and outdo your neighbors. You will not, the man a few houses away will always have more, but do not worry about that. It will be your home for some time. Your wife will be plain, but crafty, she will outsmart you every time you try to get out of the yard work, better to do it the first time she asks. You think not? You will learn, trust me. This wife, she will not be the first you meet after the pretty little thing leaves you. There will be others, yes, other little flings. Each one will feel special, but none of them will be that plain wife. Have fun while you can, do not think too much about the plain wife, you will meet her eventually. Better that you have these days now, then later when you are married. And the plain wife, she will do that thing you wish for, if you are good to her. You know what I speak of, boy!

You have a hobby, yes? Stamp collecting? You are more boring than I thought! You could have told me anything, you could have said you were a big game hunter or a salsa dancer! Forget what I said about trying to outdo your neighbors with the lights, you are much too modest for that. You will have a small light-up snow man in the yard and a few lights, that is all! But this hobby, this … stamp collecting, you will pursue it. You will keep it up, and go to things, conventions and such. They have conventions for stamp collecting, yes? Do not take the little flings with you, you do not want to scare the plain wife off if you meet her at one. Pursue this hobby, you will meet many other people through it, maybe even the second man although I doubt it. You will build relationships that will last your entire lifetime at those convention things, friends that you can rely on in times of need.

You will travel, of course you will travel! Nowhere very exciting it seems, perhaps the Mexico or the Florida. The children will wish to go to the Disney World, you will probably take them to the Disneyland first, being a modest person.  And those friends, the ones you meet at the conventions? They will help you travel farther, they will let you and the plain wife stay with them when you wish to travel. Remember to offer the same in return, do not think your home too plain for them. Everyone wishes for somewhere else, even the people living in far off places.

Why does everyone ask about that? Why would you want to know about your death? Such a boring topic. Yes, you will die, did you think yourself immortal? Of course you don't, I am simply having fun with you. Let's see … your death will be like you, modest. Avoid the easy food from the place near your place of work. Avoid eating there every day is what I mean! The plain wife, she will make you a good healthy lunch if you are good to her, and if she is not too busy with her own job. What, did you think she would not have a job? It is the new century boy, even I have a job of my own! Telling fortunes to silly little boys of course!

But your death, let me see … there are many ways to die, boy, give me the time to divine yours! Avoid flashy sports cars, you would wreck them. Avoid doing your own home repair, especially electrical. I know you will avoid the Africa so I do not need to warn you about the lions there. Let's see, avoid the drugs, the pills; they may seem like fun at first but they would kill you in the end. Be moderate in the alcohol, more moderate than you are now I mean, there will be bad times just as there will be good ones and it is very easy to fall victim to the alcohol and the drugs in the bad times. Incidentally, avoid the stock market unless the second man advises something in particular; if the first man advises you, do the opposite. Be wary of snakes, the animal as well as the human kind, both are poisonous. And … yes, if you do those things you should live a long life and die modestly.

After? Boy, I do not look `After.` There is only so much one should see in this life, seeing the things that come after it is not something I will dabble in. Find a holy man, any will do, he will tell you all that you wish to learn of his opinions. It is opinion only, that is all I will tell you. No one really knows what happens, that is my opinion.