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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Ian Chisholm26/Male/United States Group :icongrammarnazicritiques: GrammarNaziCritiques
Truth can be harsher in a Crit
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I started writing High War sometime in February or March of 2013, meaning it's been over a year since I began that story and just a week more since I wrote my Character – Newlyweds piece (found at ) featuring Real World versions of two characters from High War. Sarah is the daughter of a big company's Vice President, sort of a rich heiress who hates the idea of being rich and refuses any help from her single father … other than the well-paid Special Projects job she has at the company. She's not much in to possessions, and only really “owns” a small potted cactus she found once and named Frankenstein. Jorden never met his parents and was raised by the church, then after high school took a job at the same company; in the back of his mind he is considering joining the Army (a relatively safe move at the time, but not for long) and then going to college. He and Sarah met due to their gaming hobby, kept up their relationship in complete secret from Sarah's father who would have fired Jorden immediately if he had known, and moved in together as soon as they could. Now that they're married Sarah's father has to live with it, but he's also coming around to liking his responsible son-in-law. Do I like this piece? I do, I like that I got to see the characters in the Real World before writing them in the fantasy world, and they have some good lines. I wish I had done more like this for the other characters, but the inspiration never hit. What did I learn? There isn't one big reason why people get married; it's different for everyone, and can be anything as long as that thing is important.

This week it's part 2 of High War's chapter 14! We meet an old friend of the Count! Magic items are given out for future services rendered! And then we split the party! Next week, the Game perhaps!

by Krazy Krow, Jos Fouts and John Staton

Part 1 First:…
Part 2 First:…

Social commentary and death in storytelling clearly go hand in hand. Even in the rare stories where the author has a death happen seemingly at random and when least expected, to mirror how Real Life death is random and unexpected, the death is still being used for that purpose. In all other stories character death occurs because the author wanted it to occur, because that was the right and meaningful time for that character to die. Some die almost immediately upon being introduced, the mindless thugs and faceless soldiers. Others die only when their story has been told and we have learned their crimes, the child molesters and school shooters. Antagonists who live by a code opposite to the protagonist die when they are proven ultimately incorrect or insane, and some can even last for the whole story thus allowing them to be tested the same as and alongside the protagonist. Innocent figures and important allies, if they die at all, die to show that the world is broken and must be made right. All these and more inhabit the world of this webcomic, a world pulled straight from hard-edged crime stories full of explosions and gunfights. Our leading lady is an assassin for hire who will do any job if the money is good; morals and scruples come later as we learn more about her and what she cares about. From the start she is looking to retire, having reached her prime and not feeling challenged any more, and so she kidnaps a wealthy heiress looking to extort her father. Things do not go as planned. Now she needs to pay for a crazy surgery, as well as get her new identity, all while she takes more jobs to pay her bills and slowly forms a bond with the kidnapped girl. An antagonist appears who seems to really enjoy killing people and has a special liking for our protagonist. Backstories are told, the cops and hunters close in, but finally she can leave with a new friend. Things do not go as planned. Now she begins training the girl, learning more about her foes as some die and some become possible allies. She is nearly killed time and time again but saved just as often by her apprentice, and another friend who has always been at her side tries to become more after having given up hope. Things start to go as planned when she finally realizes she is not alone. The art is … different, varying greatly with each new artist and always at least decent quality, eventually even professional with some color.

Why you should read this: No plan goes off without a hitch, and the characters really get to shine when they improvise clever (or otherwise) solutions. Good action, good drama, good ending. The story is complete, you can read the whole thing from start to finish!

Why you shouldn't read this: There is a lot of death, bloodshed and humiliation in this story, some of which may be offensive or disturbing to you, though it's fitting for a story starring an assassin. If you would have any problem with this comic making fun of religion. If you can't stand a comic where the art quality and style varies at random.

Other cool stuff: The site hasn't been updated much since the comic ended, you even need to use a different link to read the full story, so there's not much. Buy the complete story in the store, go to certain chapters in the calendar-style Archive, see the central characters lined up by height in the Cast page, and the Gallery has some gift art. Read the old webcomic Krakow for “normal” kids and demons, Charliehorse for more of that, or the awesome new comic Spinnerette for superheroes with problems.
  • Reading: Mechademia Vol 1
  • Watching: Fairy Tail, Galaxy Angel


Ian Chisholm
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I'm here to tell the stories that play out in my head, mostly because they crowd out all other thoughts until I write them; I love Anime and so I'm aiming at a career writing animation scripts, but for now I'm a writer in search of an artist to collaborate with. If you read something here that inspires you and if you can make pretty pictures, I would be interested in enlisting your help. Graphic novels, comic books, webcomics, animated shorts and more; if you can do the visual I'll provide the story. I will gladly cooperate or collaborate on your projects, or even take on requests, all to sharpen my writing skills. If you'd like a critique or some proofreading you only have to ask.

So here's the plan: every Friday I will a) upload a written piece, either a part of an ongoing story I am writing or something more random like a character sketch but always at least a page in length, b) look back at something I have written and uploaded to DA in the hopes that I can glean something useful from it, and c) share a webcomic review in my Journal section. Occasionally I collect the webcomic reviews into compilations of ten and I try to do critiques of other writers at least once a week. If you want to contact me about anything go ahead and send me a note, I'm pretty quick about responding to people. My avatar for this year is Trubl, my Pathfinder pirates campaign Cat Hengeyokai Gunslinger. You may notice the Internet's CatBeard under that Paint-job, but the sometimes-calico-cat sometimes-blunderbuss-wielding-dwarf is all mine. I need to get this guy in to my High War story!

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FictionLover987 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Hobbyist
Hi! Here's the link!…
thanks again! :)
Cobrateen Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Got it, and I'm looking forward to your reading of chapter 10.4 of High War
whaddadafukk Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014
Thank you for the llama.
Cobrateen Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'd put up a stamp saying I return llamas ... but I'm afraid of becoming a stamp collector :)
seika Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you so much for the fav! :iconcutehiplz:
Cobrateen Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Of course, of course!
Willowbranwen Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014
Thanks for the fave dear :D
Cobrateen Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Of course, I'm happy to fave a talented artist.
Willowbranwen Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014
Bear Emoji-13 (Blushing Hnnng) [V1] 
Bclement117 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014
You've been tagged! :)
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